25.09.2025

Expert tips on workplace negotiation, from assertiveness skills to deal-making tactics

Negotiation skills can help you boost your career, as well as improving your interactions with colleagues, customers and clients. AI-based career tool Kickresume has teamed up with psychologist and career coach Monika Varela to create a guide to becoming a confident negotiator.

The guide includes a breakdown of the steps to a successful negotiation, as well as how to prepare for an important meeting, and how to feel comfortable and confident advocating for what you want at work.

Peter Duris, CEO and Co-founder of Kickresume, comments: “It was great to work together with Monika Varela and get these practical, actionable tips on how to be a successful negotiator at work. While lots of people think of negotiation as a kind of debate or argument, it’s actually a really collaborative process based on mutual respect.

“Even though it can be stressful, with practice and the ability to put yourself in the other person’s shoes, you can find your way to an agreement. Or the next best thing, which is why it’s always important to have a plan B! Whether you’re asking your boss for a raise, or trying to decide on a timeline for a difficult project, we hope these tips help you feel more confident asking for what you want.”

Monika Varela and Kickresume developed a checklist for the steps to reaching an agreement. First, you need to build or maintain a good relationship with the person you’re negotiating with. During the conversation you need to communicate well, and show you understand their point of view with empathy and active listening. When looking for a solution, it needs to be realistic as well as fair to both parties. Finally, once you’ve come to an agreement, decide on the next steps there and then.

Kickresume’s guide also includes a breakdown of the four principles of negotiation according to the bestselling book Getting To Yes by negotiator and mediator William Ury and Harvard law professor Roger Fisher. The first principle is to separate the person from the problem, and think of yourselves as collaborators solving a problem together, not opponents. The second principle is to focus on interests, not positions—specific outcomes are less important than making sure all parties’ needs are met. Next, invent options for mutual gain instead of settling on the first proposed solution. By brainstorming a range of options, you can find the one that works best for everyone. Lastly, insist on using objective criteria, such as professional standards and company data, in order to make your decision together about the best solution.

Many people find the thought of negotiating intimidating. Monika Varela shared her tips on how to feel more confident with Kickresume and her advice was to prepare thoroughly, so that you go into the meeting with your key talking points in mind. She also recommended using mindfulness to manage stress and anxiety on the day of the meeting, alongside working long-term on your emotional intelligence, to help you not only manage your own emotions but understand those of other people. Lastly, she highlighted the importance of assertiveness, and recommended roleplaying difficult conversations ahead of time with a friend, as well as practising saying “No” more often.

Kickresume asked Monika Varela to share advice on how to prepare for a negotiation, and the coach and psychologist provided the following steps.

The first step is to clearly define your goal as well as your plan B or BATNA, Best Alternative To A Negotiated Agreement. For example, if you are trying to negotiate a raise in pay, a suitable BATNA might be one of the following: discussing it again in 6 months based on your recent performance; considering a move to another department; or looking for a new job.

Next, you should estimate the other person’s plan B. After that, research the topic, find ways to present what you want in a way that shows it solves a problem for them too, and anticipate any objections they might have.

As well as a plan B the expert said you should decide on the minimum outcome you’d accept, meaning you’ll be prepared to walk away instead of accepting a solution that doesn’t work for you. Finally, get a good night’s sleep the night before, and practice mindfulness and breathing exercises on the day, so that you’re feeling calm for your meeting.

What should you do when a negotiation isn’t going well? Monika Varela told Kickresume about William Ury’s famous piece of advice, “Go to the balcony”. This means mentally and emotionally retreating, and taking a minute to process. This is especially important if you can feel yourself getting annoyed during the meeting, as it can help prevent you from saying something you’ll regret.

If you need to step outside for a break, this is an option too, as is requesting more time to make a decision later on. Monika also shared advice on what to do if the atmosphere in the meeting is becoming tense. She told Kickresume that openly acknowledging the tension can actually make it easier to move forward.

While negotiation is an essential skill for seeking a raise, a promotion or a new contract with a client, Kickresume advised that it is also a part of self-care at work. It helps employees protect their boundaries and work-life balance—and also helps managers stand up for the teams who report to them.

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